“Expectation management”–You’ve probably heard this term bandied about for any number of scenarios, but you may have given little thought to how it applies to sugar dating. Just like anything else that involves interaction with other people, managing your expectations is actually a crucial part of ensuring a happy and successful sugar dating relationship.
Most sugar daddies and sugar babies that are new to the experience tend to have unrealistic expectations of the relationship itself or from their partners. Sugar daddies may expect their sugar babies to be available to them at all times, considering them little more than paid help at their beck and call. Sugar babies for their part may expect their sugar daddies to provide for all their financial needs, with little regard for providing for their sugar daddy’s needs in return.
Both scenarios make for a less-than-ideal sugar dating relationship and it won’t be too long before dissatisfaction creeps into the picture. Over time, resentment and hurt feelings may build up, and the end of the relationship will come sooner or later.
The roots of the problem
Apart from unrealistic expectations, many problems that plague sugar dating relationships can be traced to miscommunication. In fact, these unrealistic expectations themselves can often result from the inability or neglect in communicating needs with the other partner. This is often the case when sugar dating is started with little consideration for the dynamics of the partnership, or with the blind hope that things will simply progress smoothly without any direct intervention on the part of the partners.
Sugar daddies and sugar babies may also ignore qualities in their partner that may indicate the possibility of problems later on. Sugar daddies may think that their sugar babies are more committed or honest than they really are, while sugar babies may have the impression that their sugar daddies are wealthier than they actually are.
Of course, deception also plays a part in building these unrealistic impressions, and many sugar daddies and sugar babies are indeed guilty of presenting themselves as something they are not. Nevertheless, it doesn’t take a dishonest partner for the other to form an unrealistic impression, and they may deceive themselves into having unrealistic expectations totally by their own doing.
Managing expectations within the relationship
Before we go any further, let us first clarify what “managing expectations” really means. This simply involves entering into a situation with a realistic perception of what your responsibilities entail and what you will get in return. For sugar daddies, the primary responsibility is of course to provide for the financial needs of their sugar babies. This typically includes paying for her apartment rental, buying her a car, taking her out on dates, and so on. In return, he gets a companion who will accompany him to social functions, go out on dates with him, and often, provide for his sexual needs.
Sugar babies for their part get paid or get some other form of remuneration in return for serving as a sort of girlfriend to their sugar daddy. Depending on the terms of the arrangement, this may involve sexual intimacy, or it may simply involve companionship. Sugar babies may be expected to be available constantly, or they may be required to be available only at specific times.
Managing expectations involves a clear understanding of these roles and responsibilities, which should be discussed thoroughly at the start of the relationship. Although you may be hesitant to discuss the nuts and bolts of the relationship in such clear and clinically precise terms, it is essential to do so in order to avoid any misunderstandings later on. In most cases, it is better to deal with a bit of awkwardness at the start instead of finding yourself having to deal with a host of problems later on because of your own neglect.
The middle ground
There are few problems within a sugar dating relationship that cannot be resolved without effective communication. Even if your expectations of the relationship differ considerably, it may still be possible for you to work out your differences by finding common ground in which you can agree.
Don’t ignore the value of negotiation. Keep in mind that many sugar babies adopt a very professional approach to sugar dating relationships, and they wouldn’t be averse to drawing out the terms of the arrangement clearly. Clearly explain what you want to get out of the relationship and what you are committed to providing in return. Far from finding it insulting or offensive, many sugar babies will actually appreciate you for your candor and straightforwardness, and the potential to avoid later problems is a definite bonus.
How not to get burned
Even if you take the time to define the terms of the relationship clearly at the start, there is always the possibility of one or both partners failing to live up to their end of the bargain. Assuming that you are ready and willing to face up to your role and responsibilities, it may be you who is getting the short end of the stick.
The first course of action as suggested previously is to clear the air with a good talk. Explain to your sugar baby that your needs aren’t being met and that you feel that you are at a disadvantage in the relationship. If you feel that the relationship can still be saved, make the effort to communicate your sentiments as calmly and as graciously as you can manage. Try not to be demanding or unreasonable, but don’t be a pushover either. Remember that you are the one paying your sugar baby to provide a service, so it is reasonable for you to expect her to reciprocate within the terms of your original agreement.
Sugar dating is much like any other relationship in that there is always a degree of compromise involved. Consideration of the feelings of one another is essential to make it work out in a way that benefits both partners. Combined with managing your expectations, this could be exactly what you need in order to have a happy and rewarding sugar dating relationship.